Back in the Saddle

Well, I'm back! Back in the saddle. And that actually means a couple of things. You see, a lot's happened since my last entry. Like: 

• My dad died
• I met a man
• We built a house
• I got married (My sweet hubs pictured above. We were in Alaska! Woot!)
• We moved into that house
• I got a new job
• I gained a TON of weight
• I'm on another weight loss journey

And basically in that order ;)

I enjoyed writing a blog in the past and I definitely enjoy reading blogs so it's been on my mind lately that I need to update mine. However, Blogging is HUGE now, like people's-business-huge, and I don't know if anybody reads mine anyway. (If anybody did they'd be real disappointed since no one's been home for 2 years....or is it four? It's been so long since I've posted I can't even remember!!!) LOL! In fact I saw that my blog had something like 500-ish views and they are most likely all from me! I didn't know I checked my blog so often! ;)

Anyway....I have so many thoughts that I want to organize. And sometimes a person just wants to feel like they're throwing their ideas out into the big ol' world and being heard, even if they're not. That's me right now. Plus this is a lot cuter than writing in an online journal. I think anyway. We'll see. But I'm definitely not handwriting a journal. {shudder} I'd quit that real fast.

Needless to say, I've had some pretty major life events since I wrote last. My plan is to write about these things, because, hello!, they are important. And this is my journal. Like I said at the top. You can read it if you want :)

Oooooo!

So to begin with, I'd like to discuss my fattness. That's the other meaning of being back in the saddle (the other was that I'm blogging again, if you didn't catch that before). 

:)

I really, seriously, cross-my-heart-hope-to-die, thought that when my sweet husband Nick and I got married that I would cook amazingly nutritious meals (that didn't even TASTE healthy!!!), and we would work out together and people would say "Wow, they look better than when they were dating! Marriage has been good to them!"

Well I am here to tell ya'll that MARRIAGE HAS NOT BEEN GOOD TO ME!!! 

***(In the weight department only)***

I reached my heaviest weight ever: 194 lbs!!!

Before this, my heaviest weight ever was 180-something. I kicked myself in the butt and put in some tough work at the gym and watched my calories. I lost about 20 lbs in six months. That's not super fast, but I saw lots of improvements in my body and my physical abilities that it kept me going. I need to remember that. I need to remember that I've done this before and I can do it again. Another thing I want to put in my mind is:

I love this little thing! I printed it out and I'm going to put it on my fridge.

(Finally, I've had it "pinned" for this very purpose for several months.)

I can do hard things! I've done them before and I'll do them again! My sweetie is so supportive and helps me feel good about myself now, and about the things I'm doing to become healthier. I want to get fit before I get pregnant. (Isn't that kind of silly? I want to lose a bunch of weight before I get "fat" with a baby. Lol! It's okay, it's a different kind of "fat.")

This is what doing hard things looks like:

Jillian Michaels is apparently going to "shred" me in 30 days! Do not be misled. I am very sweaty in this picture. And my whole body was quivering. JM is a butt whooper fo' sho'!!!

****Confession:*****

 I did not actually want to work out tonight, but I did it anyway. This was the fourth or fifth time I had done this particular workout and I was dreading it a little bit (as I do for most workouts :( wa-waaah), but I always feel SOOOO good afterwards. Not only physically, but mentally was well because I was a tough lady and I did a hard thing! And then it makes me look forward to doing it again! (sort of)

Healthier me: HERE I COME!! 

I MADE IT!!!!

So my goal, my one and only summer goal, was to hike to the top of Timp. Utah Valley is so near and dear to my heart and what better way to see and appreciate it than to look down at it from the towering face of Mount Timpanogos. It didn't seem like it would be that difficult to accomplish, arrangement wise, because both my ward and work were planning to hike it. Great! Well, then I got sick and the weather decided to misbehave so both those options got axed. Fine, I'll hike it myself, I said. Little did I know what a journey it would be....

First off, I didn't know where to go to even start on the trail that leads to the top. I heard there was a trail head up Sundance Canyon and the other was Timpanooke up American Fork Canyon. P.S I did not hike it "myself." I brought my sister along. She's a good sport. You'll find out why later. Our first attempt took us up Provo Canyon. We didn't start hiking until 1:30 pm or so. Many encouraging people told us we would not make it there before dark. But I am a stubborn red-head so I didn't listen. It didn't matter because, due to the economic crisis, America cannot afford enough signs to direct novice hikers as to what trail leads to what destination. Therefore, we wasted 2 hours of precious daylight hiking to Stewart Falls. Yeah, it's pretty, blah, blah, blah. IT AIN'T THE TOP OF TIMP people and I've got goals to accomplish!!!

No, but seriously, why would a logical person think "oh, I must park in this parking lot then walk back to the ROAD to get on the correct trail?" And why can't there be a FREAKING SIGN in the parking lot to tell you that?! Hence the "mad face" pictured to the left. Which wasn't actually mad because I was laughing at the same time. At my sister, not the situation. That was not a laughing matter. Anyway, it really was a nice hike, just disappointing. And it gave little sis a taste of what was to come. Sort of. She still didn't know.

When we got back we ate at Zupas. I had heard about Zupas, but I thought it was a bunch of hype. It's just a soup, salad, or sandwhich people. Come on! Especially soup! Is that even a meal? But they were right! It was amazing. Of course food always does taste better after coming out of the wilderness. But I'll definately go there again. Dinky sandwiches, BTW...

ANYWAY...

The next week we tried again. This time we took the Timpanooke trail. However, once again, I didn't have a clue where we were going. But how hard could it be? They've got to have SIGNS right? Again, I was sadly disappointed. COME ON rangers!!! Not everyone hikes Timp everyday! A few signs would help a sista out! And your map sucks. Can't you add "Timpanooke trail head" to your "Timpanooke campground" sign?!

After driving around for half an hour we finally went back and found someone to ask. Then the fun began. Well, kind of. We (by "we" I mean "I") began merrily hiking along, chattering away about how lucky we were to be hiking in the shade, and how beautiful the surroundings were, and how lucky we were to have healthy bodies and clean air in our lungs. My sister trudged along in silent agreement. Soon we headed up a trail with rocks placed across it. Hm, strange. OH, maybe that was a sign I was headed up the wrong way!Hence the sad face since I had to crawl hands and feet up a sheer shale rock mountainside. Good thing I left little sis behind! Going back down that thing was not fun. It was downright dangerous! My sister got a butt shot of me coming down, but I chose not to post that one. ;)

Most of the trail was quite fantastic. I was impressed by my endurance and realized I am in as good a shape as I thought! I seriously had no idea how long that trail was and I kept encouraging my sister that the sign had to be "just around the corner." (We were informed there was an actual sign that would direct us to the trail that lead to the summit. FINALLY!!!) I am so proud of my sister. She was such a little trooper! I knew she wasn't in the best of moods from having to hike all that way so I would just stay ahead hoping to come upon the sign and alert her we were "almost there!" Yeah, "almost there" my butt! When we finally got to the sign and could see the saddle I was excited! She was like "we have to go all the way up there?!" Little did I know how right she was. At this point I was singing pioneer songs to keep myself going. "And should we die, before our journey's through" felt mighty appropriate at that time! So much for thinking we'd make it there and back in 8 hours. There was a rock in the middle of the trail just before you start the steep parts. That's where my sister gave out. Almost. She was just going to stay there and nap. "You can't!" I told her. "You're so close! You'll regret it if you don't make it when you've come this far!" I tried to encourage her. "It's not MY GOAL to make it to the top! This is far enough!" Well, I couldn't argue with her on that, but I couldn't leave her there to get eaten by mountain goats either. Although she thought that'd be quite the "way to go."

We rested and ate some of the wonderful snacks I packed. They must have held magical powers cause when we were done I asked if she was sure she wasn't coming and she said she would. Hooray! So off we went. Well, the day just took a real down hill direction (mentally. certainly
not physically) for me at that point. We had been hiking for HOURS, it was getting more hot, though there was a lovely cool breeze blowing, and my sister was losing steam. The pioneer songs were just not cuttin' it. In fact, I swung over to the opposite spectrum and felt provoked to curse under by breath. That helped a little. This is my "are you freaking kidding me face" that I had on the way to the saddle.

We did eventually make it to the saddle. Hence, the joyous picture at the beginning. When my sister finally arrived we called our dad so he could be proud of us and I texted some of my friends. But I didn't have much time to waste because I had to make it to the shed at the very top. It was so close right? Wrong.

I left my pack behind and just took my camera to prove that I had been to the top. I was making good time. Until I realized I had taken the wrong trail. What is with taking the wrong freakin' trails on this journey?! So I turned back. There were three elderly people that we would continually meet up with off and on throughout the treck that I met up with again and they found the steep, crazy, switchback trail up the mountain. I don't mean to sound like a party pooper, but as I climbed and climbed and climbed some more I had repeated thoughts of "what is [H-E-double hockey sticks] am I doing up here? Just go back. It's not even worth it." Stupid goals. Because of them I couldn't stop. I was so close! Yet so far away.

I did eventually make it to the top. I signed the register "first, and probably last, time." I snapped a few pics, but by that time I was ticked off enough that I didn't even care to look around. Here is my "was this seriously worth it?" face. Note the swollen lips. They went nicely with the sausages I once called fingers.

I would post more pictures, but blogger is being difficult so be sure to check out my facebook. I realize there are not many "happy" faces. Don't be mistaken. Of course I am glad I made it, and am only one quarter joking about how horrid the last two miles were. Of course I enjoyed the journey! It is a major accomplishment! Oh, and coming down was certainly faster and my sister and I got to talk all the way down. I was the driving force to the top and she was the driving force to the bottom :) So thank you Erica, thank you body, and thank you to all you crazy kooks out there who drove me to desire to hike it in the first place. It truly was an Extraordinary day in the life of Carrie.

Playing A Little Catch-up

Hello Blogger world (aka people at work and my sister)! I know it's been a while. The truth is...not much happens in my life that is noteworthy. I know. Lame. But there have been a couple TOTALLY EPIC moments in the last couple of months that we'll review. Hang onto your hats peeps!

In July, we held the annual celebration of my birth. I went to good ol' Roosevelt to see my family and have my totally bodacious party. I love having traditional birthday parties with party hats and bright colors and birthday cakes with toys on them and such. Actually, I hate my birthday, but these things make it a little better. This year we didn't have a toy cake. We had a "death by chocolate" cake, which is an acceptable substitute. And we did not have cone-like party hats, we wore old fashioned hats. Which is also acceptable and what you can expect at my bridal shower (NO, I'm not getting married yet! Don't rub it in. I'm a planner remember?) Anywho, we also had a flower fight, played "Ninja," "the screaming game," dodgeball, and...I don't remember what else. I don't think I have pictures of us after the flour fight, but you can see it in the ninja pictures. Good times.

Twenty-six year old Carrie. That's right, I said 26! Not too much different than twenty five really.

Niiiiiiin-JA!!!! That's how you say it. In the game, I mean.

I had a video of this, but I didn't put it on because it wasn't very good. I'm still photo/cinematograpy handicapped. I'm working on it.

In August, I participated in a singer/songwriter workshop sponsored by Jenny Phillips and Tyler Castleton. If you don't know who they are then you don't listen to church music enough :) Hillary Weeks and Mindy Gledhill were also there. If you don't know who they are then...all I can say is I'm sad for you. I'll explain the workshop in one word: AWESOME. But if you let me choose other words I would choose informative, encouraging, fun, scary, overwhelming, and exciting. Tyler Castleton is an incredible songwriter and arranger. He does a lot of the EFY music. He just might be my LDS idol. (Hey, that's a good idea for a contest in Utah...probably already is....) I enjoy so much of (note I did not say ALL of) Hillary and Mindy's music. They write and sing their own stuff, which is what I'm trying to do. PLUS, be mom's at the same time!!! (I am not trying to do that, at this time.) Anyway, it was a very good investment. I learned a lot about the LDS music industry and I was inspired to get writing, writing, writing! I met some nice girls. One of whom I later recognized on a website as a swim-suit model. Interesting. And certainly not one of my options as a back-up career. You go girl!

There was also a song writing competition. I was planning on entering a song to be critiqued by Tyler Castleton and I had my melody and some chords, but that was about it. As time passed, I just kind of neglected it. A week before the deadline I got an email reminding me that it was due in a week. I was like "shoot, I better get on that!" then I thought "nah, it's too late." Well, I happened to have two or three days off in a row during that week and so I decided to give it a shot and see what I could accomplish in that time. Basically, I finished writing and recording it in 16 hours. The recording was horrid. Number one, I recorded it using a digital recorder placed at the side of my piano. Which means crappy, crappy quality. But they said it didn't have to be good quality so I wasn't worried about that part. Number two, I had JUST BARELY finished writing it so I didn't even know how to play it well! Let alone sing along. I am not great at singing and playing at the same time. Depends on the song, I guess. Anyway, I gave a little disclaimer at the beginning warning him it would be a little "choppy" and slower than it is meant to be. Needless to say, I didn't win. HOWEVER, I received a CD with Tyler's critique recorded on it. It was so awesome!!! And so encouraging! He really liked it, though he acknowledged it was a little difficult to get the true feel because it was so broken up. He only gave me a few suggestions of how to fix it and otherwise thought it was a great song!! YAY ME!!!!

THEN, I participated in the singing competition. Tyler and Jenny wrote a song that is going to be featured on her upcoming album. Long story short, I went to the recording studio and met up with Tyler and their sound guy, Scott. It was SO INCREDIBLE to be in an actual recording studio. I felt so cool, like a real live singer or something!!! I was in the little sound booth singing into that microphone with the round thing in front of it and wearing the headphones with only one side on (just like the professionals. Actually that's how you're supposed to do it.) I sang it through a couple times and then they burned a CD for me so I can have a copy of me singing. Tyler was so encouraging! He asked me what my goals were and I told him I just wanted to write music in my spare time as a full time mom and put an album together whenever I had a collection of good songs and he said he totally thought I'd be able to do that. This is after we had talked about my voice and my song that I had submitted. He remembered it and again told me what a great song he thought it was. He couldn't believe I wrote it in such a short amount of time, or that it was my first song every with lyrics! He said that if I just fixed the things he suggested I fix that he thought it'd be good enough to pitch-meaning get it recorded! YAY! So I was totally excited and encouraged and inspired. But then I didn't win. I didn't even make top twenty! So then I got disappointed, and angry, and accused Tyler of being a liar-face (just kidding...kind of. only in my head. And maybe to one person) I'm still working through it, but I don't really think they would have been so encouraging if they didn't think I had SOME talent. One of the big emphasis' at the workshop was that it's okay to be told "no" and you just have to keep working at it. So that's what I'm going to try to do. I tried to post the song to this blog so you could hear it, but I haven't found a way to do so. So just imagine the most awesome thing you've ever heard and that's what it sounds like :)

So this has been a really long post so I'll post the other TOTALLY EPIC events in another post! PEACE!!!!

Random Thoughts....

So I have a lot of thoughts. All the time. Constantly going. We all do, right? Well, I've thought about blogging them, but I haven't because...I'm lazy. And I'm being lazy right now and avoiding doing other things I think I should be doing (like laundry....crap, I'm almost out of scrubs!) and so I will blog because that seems a lot more fun than the other stuff and I don't want to go to bed because that would be a waste of time ;)

Pardon the randomness. I'm sure there is a common thread in here somewhere....

#1 The Internet has a lot of really great information on it. Sometimes too much and it's overwhelming and is like finding a needle in a haystack. A lot of information is nice and stuff, but you know what I really want to find?....MY FUTURE! Yes, that may sound ridiculous, but a lot of times I feel like I'm just waiting around for what I really want my life to be like. I wish the internet could show me what I really want to know like: who I'll marry, what my kids will look like, what I'll look like, etc. But alas, the internet has no such information. So then facebook sucks me in and I waste another bunch of time...but even that can't hold my attention for too long. You know....the internet is kind of boring.

#2 Dr McCann brought donuts in for us today. That was so nice of him. I have really been wanting a donut lately. I work in such a wonderful place with the most wonderful people. SUCH a blessing!

#3 I waste a lot of time (stupid facebook). Well, yes and no. There are a lot of things I feel I should be doing, but sometimes I just can't get myself to do it. Like piano and singing! I should be practicing my guts out but I don't because: a. sometimes it's pretty darn boring b. sometimes I'm not very good and it frustrates me c. hmmmm...it's boring. Well, I guess that's mostly the reason! If I was better at the piano I would probably have more fun at it. The reason it's frustrating is because sometimes I can hear songs that I want to write (why I am learning the piano in the first place) but I can't get them out/form them into notes to be heard by others. VERY frustrating. But it will come along. Most the songs I've written haven't come because I sat down and thought "I am going to write a song right now." And yes, to those of you who didn't know, I write music. But only one is really great and no you can't hear it. Not yet. I need to practice....

#3+ And I should be going to the gym!!! I shouldn't waste time by not exercising! I don't want to be pudgy anymore! I've come a long way (yeah! I think I have) and I don't want to stop now!

#4 Maybe I do want to be pudgy. Today I read the blog of a girl I knew growing up. She is 2 years younger than me, has two children, and looks like she should be graduating high school at the end of this month. Her body is tiny. The fact that she is younger than me and is married with children and living in a beautiful home is enough of a blow to the self-esteem department, but she looks so good too! That's a lot of additional and very unnecessary pressure on me, because we don't have even CLOSE to the same body structure and for me to even THINK of being as thin and she is just ridiculous. That is Satan talking and I don't want to listen because I hate that guy. I want to be healthy. But I don't need the additional weight of feeling like I need to look like a swimsuit model is order to feel like I'm healthy and attractive. I have enough to worry about. Besides, I like my men a little soft around the middle, if you will, and so I think it should be okay that I'm a little soft around the middle too.

And speaking of weight issues, I seriously have these thoughts:

#5 I am looking good! I really have lost weight! Yay me! I am strong! (And as my trainer calls me..) I am a MACHINE!!!!

an hour or two later...

#6 I am chubby! Maybe I haven't lost that much weight! Man I have a long way to go! This is hard!

(Isn't that ridiculous?! Being a wishy-washy woman sucks sometimes)

#7 Life is wonderful. No seriously. With all the ups and downs we can feel in the space of 18 waking hours life really is good. And I am so grateful that I feel this way, cause I haven't for a long time. I am so grateful to live in the most beautiful valley EVER, I am so grateful for the sky and how Heavenly Father changes it and grants me such peace and happiness just by looking at it, and I am so grateful for the people in my life that make me feel good and help me be a better person! I am grateful for the talents I have (even though we already know I do not practice that much!) and that I think I know what I am supposed to do with them. I am grateful for second chances and the chance to change and for hope and faith and the FUTURE! I am excited to see what's going to happen in my life! (I still wish the internet would show me though)


Well, there are just a few of my random thoughts. There are more where they came from so stay tuned! Until then this is Carrie Adams, signing off, on another extraordinary day

I love men!!!!!

And that is pretty much all I have to say about that! :)

The WORST nightmare EVER!!!

Lately I've been having some pretty crazy dreams that leave me with a strange feeling when I wake up and sometimes it lingers all day. I wake up feeling dark and uneasy yet I can't remember specifically what happens in these dreams. But last night I remembered exactly what happened and it was the worst thing that could happen ever! Well, for me anyway ;)

Those who know me really well know I am a planner. I plan EVERYTHING. My hobbies, my house, my activites, the kind of wife and mother I want to be, the kind of husband I want, my children's names, their personalities, the baby accessories I'll buy, activities I want to do with the family I'll create someday, my funeral....the list goes on and on. But most of all I plan my WEDDING!

If I wasn't a nurse I'd probably be a wedding planner. Who knows? Maybe I'll "retire" to this profession someday. We'll see (the plans are in the making). I love weddings! But contrary to what people may think (Corey) I am not marriage obsessed. My love for weddings is not so much about my own, but just weddings in general. I could talk about weddings all day with anyone and be just fine. I am always looking for new ideas! I have several different scenarios to choose from depending on when I actually get married. And since I do not plan on having the good fortune of living out each and every one of these glorious ideas on my own weddings I must pick my favorites and then gently yet forcefully live out the rest through my younger sisters. Just kidding.

Anywho, needless to say, I have much of my plans picked out. Venue, photographer, hairdo, dress, decorations, caterer/food...and this is why I don't understand my dream! Okay, we're going into dream mode. Ready? okay

In my dream I wake up in the temple. Now I understand that the temple is not a hotel, alright? I get that. At least I was on the right track, okay? I woke up in a nice room with dark minty green walls, dark wood furniture, mirrors and white linens. I recognized it was my wedding day, but then I realized

"wait, it's my wedding day?! I don't even have a photographer! And what time is it? Who's going to do my hair?!"

So obviously I have to start getting ready, but like I said, there's no one arranged to do my hair so I'm going to have to come up with something on my own. Good thing I have curly hair! I started planning ways to manipulate my hair with bobby pins to create the hairdo I have in mind. Then my mom arrives.

"Mom, I don't even have a photographer! (I don't know why this was such a big deal to me) Wait, did we go get our marriage license? I arranged for the temple today right?! I told you I was getting married TODAY right?!"

At this point I didn't even know where my husband-to-be was, let alone who he was. I guess, because I am a planner, and a flexible one at that, I start taking action to fix what I could in the little amount of time I have left.

"Dad, go to Costco and buy Erica the Nikon i-1050 (yes I made up some random camera model) that comes with two lenses. She can take the pictures."

My sister, in real life thank heavens, is like a born photographer so in my dream I decided to utilize her in my time of need and buy her an expensive camera because at this point staying "on budget" is out the window. Obviously I hadn't spent any of my "wedding budget" anyway since nothing was planned!!! I started directing people to go to Roberts crafts and buy ribbons and flowers to make sashes to hang on the backs of the chairs since it was obviously too late to rent them! (However I failed to plan on how I was going to get all those chairs in the first place) I had my mom make some last minute phone calls to a park manager to reserve the park since it was the least likely out of all the other venues in mind that would be booked on a weekend! My frenzied mind then went on to how on earth am I going to feed the guests?!?!?! It all must have been too much for me cause at this point I woke up in a panic.

I just don't get it! I have so much "planned" already why didn't I just make some freaking phone calls?! The meaning of the dream: Maybe I am not ready to get married. Or maybe I was marrying the wrong guy. Or maybe I need to attend a bridal fair so that I can be even MORE prepared! YES!!!! I think that's it. Da-da-da-dah!!! Bridal fair at Provo High on April 18th. I'm there! Thanks dream! It never hurts to be prepared! :)

I WON!!!!

My friend Shelly posted this on her blog and I was a first responder so I WON!!! I think this is a really fun idea and I promise to make cute stuff!

The Rules

1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me - something crafty or yummy, who knows?!

2. Winners must post this challenge on their blog, meaning that they will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift -anything!- for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on their post about this giveaway!

3. The gift that you send to your friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!

4. When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate pictures and comments!

If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!SO, REMEMBER…Pay it forward!