Sunday, May 12, 2013

I Better Write this Down or I'll Really Be Behind...

Well, I fell out of the saddle again. I never really liked horse back riding anyway...I actually had a dream about horses last night. And the Louvre (in Paris)...strange.

So I have stopped losing weight and actually gained weight. **sigh** I guess that's what happens since


I'll tell you a little story...

 Back in October (of 2012) I was about four days late. We were just doing our thang, deciding to take life as it came. (Well, actually I was using an Ovulation tracker app on my Kindle, more for fun and curiosity than trying to get pregnant.) So Nick suggested that I take a pregnancy test. The results were definitely not a NO, but it was so faint I couldn't trust it was a YES either. So I took four tests, all with the same faint line. It is such a strange feeling to get a "positive" on a pregnancy test. I had imagined that I would be pregnant someday, imagined getting a positive, imagined what it would feel like to be pregnant, etc, etc. However, when I actually saw the line it was such a strange feeling. I was like "really? Is this really happening because I don't feel pregnant." And you can't go tell everybody because it's only been a few days (well, kind of). And the line is faint! Well, I made an OB appointment and called a regular family practice doctor here in Saratoga. The OB office doesn't see pregnant women until they are 8 weeks, which I knew, but I scheduled an appointment with a regular doctor to get a blood test to confirm what the home pregnancy tests were claiming. Warning: He was an idiot.

Sadly, about two hours before my doctor's appointment I had started bleeding. :( I had taken my tests on a wednesday and my appointment was on a friday. You can imagine I was a little bit emotional. I clearly stated on my history form that I was there for "possible pregnancy" yet he chose to overlook that until about 20 minutes into the appointment. I had been crying earlier to the MA who had taken my vital signs cause she asked why I was being seen that day AND entered it into the computer so you would think this stupid guy would have a clue. So finally we get to the part about me being pregnant and starting to bleed and the idiot WASN'T EVEN GOING TO DO ANY TESTS!!! He was all like "well, you may be miscarrying, you may not. Just call us in a few days when the bleeding stops." Ooooh, it makes my blood boil now just thinking about it. So basically I insisted, stating that four different pregnancy tests were hard to ignore. He says to me "OHHHH! You said you took four different pregnancy tests! I thought you said you took a pregnancy test and saw four lines and I thought 'I don't know what you're talking about." FOR THE LOVE....!!!! Then ask you *choice/unkind name*!!!! Needless to say, I will not be back there.

So I go get my blood drawn to check my Hcg level. I continued to bleed through the weekend so I call my OB office on monday and tell the receptionist that I needed to cancel my appointment because I think I had miscarried, but I still wanted to schedule an appointment with an Nurse Practitioner or Physician's Assistant or something because, let's face it, I had some questions. She said she didn't feel comfortable doing that and asked if she could have a nurse call me. Well, of course! Thanks for caring!! The nurse called and said the doctor wanted me to go in THAT DAY and have an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. Hallelujah, someone who knows what they're doing!!!

Short story shorter, I repeated a blood test, my ultrasound was normal/no baby or sign of a problem so they confirmed that I did indeed have a miscarriage. My OB doctors were INCREDIBLE!!!! They were so sweet and they took the time to make sure that I understood that this was not my fault, it was nothing that I did or didn't do, etc. Dr Lamoreaux, who was on call that night, had been busy delivering babies all day, but still looked at my test results and called me at 10:00 or so that night with the results and took at least 15 minutes again explaining that it wasn't my fault, my chances or miscarrying in the future, that I didn't have to wait to keep trying etc.  Such a tender mercy and gave me the peace and closure I needed to return to work the next day (I had a four day weekend while all of this was going on so it was nice to get in addressed and taken care of before I had to get back to work). I was still sad at times and would cry. I do remember over the weekend feeling a sweet little spirit around the home.

Well, come November (the very next month) Nick asks me when I'm supposed to start my period. I told him I was supposed to start that very day, but hadn't. He again suggested I take a test. I had bought tons so I took one out and did my thang. I usually try not to look at it too soon, but I had it in front of me while I was doing something at the sink and I said "Oh my gosh, honey you gotta come look at this." There it was....BAM!!!  The brightest pink line SECONDS after absorbing the urine (sorry, gross I know). I don't even think the control line had showed up yet. So there we were, staring pregnancy and a change in our life as we knew it in the face. I was still hurting a little from the last time so I didn't know what to feel. Well, little did we know at the time that there was not one baby, but TWO BABIES in there! That's right, I'm having TWINS!!! Maybe that was why the line showed up so quickly. More on that story later :)

11 weeks (I think)